I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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