we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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