This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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