Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
