my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
