yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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