thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
