Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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