Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
