Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize