i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
