Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
