she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's the barista slut.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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