i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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