Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
