I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
