I accidentally had phone sex last night
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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