I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize