Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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