how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
