that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
