that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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