he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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