fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
