first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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