i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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