I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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