I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
