trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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