maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
