I wish i was in the wii world.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
