i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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