she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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