Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
