arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
