We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
