I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she peed on how many people?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
