in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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