She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
