there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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