your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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