put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
