just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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