Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again