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• (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

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• (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives 

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• (561): View more from Florida

  NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night

  (785): View more from Kansas

  and flaming arrows and vodka

  (785): View more from Kansas

  how did we not set your garage on fire

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