I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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