soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
