If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
