thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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