I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
