I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
