I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
