Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
