Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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