it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
