yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
