how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
