Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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