So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
