i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
