I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
