watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
